I swear this is the #1 thought that crosses my mind every day. It's part or parenthood. What I never expected was how the parenting version of "WHAT THE HELL?!" is soooooo much grosser than most of the other versions. So here's one that honest to God, makes me gag every time I recall it.
Ana had gone swimming earlier in the afternoon with her cousin, so when she started complaining, and by complaining I mean acting as if someone had cut her ear off, we figured it was just water. So we gave her some Tylenol and sent her to bed.
In the morning her ear still seemed to hurt, so Chris set up a doctors appointment for her.
The doctor came in and used her little lighty-ear-thing to check in her ear and very nonchalantly said "There's quite a bit of wax in both ears, so I'm going to have the nurse flush it out and I'll look again and see if there is an infection behind there. See you in a minute."
Did she prepare me for what was about to besiege me? NOT EVEN CLOSE.
The nurse came in with a rad squirt gun thing and tucked a towel into Ana's shirt and put a cup under her ear to catch all the water. Now, as I've probably written before, Ana is super sensory sensitive. So when one of her senses isn't functioning properly it creates chaos for us. When she got the first squirt, she almost drenched the nurse and I both in ear water until I told her it would drain and she would get to see nasty things from her ears.
Her love of nasty things is strong.
So the nurse starts flushing away. Quite a bit of wax came out. Cool, I'll celebrate ear wax because Ana did a great job holding still and says her ear already feels a lot better. On to the next ear.
"Okay! Just do it! Go fast!" Ana loudly exclaims to the nurse and then squinches every part of her body. The nurse obliges and says "OKAY!" and squirts faster than she did the first time and
MOTHER OF GOD. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
THIS IS THE MONSTROSITY THAT CAME OUT. I had to hold myself together as Ana wowed and marveled at this horrific sight. Seriously. I'm starting to gag a little just remembering it. I think I turned away to hide the initial gag because I didn't want to
- Make Ana feel bad. Or, if she was in a bit of a darker mood...
- Give her the satisfaction and ammunition of making me make retching noises.
There was indeed an infection behind there. The water from swimming just brought the problem to light.
Why do I have these photos you ask? Because Ana, for her excellent behavior, was humored when she said,
"Take pictures and send them to Dada and see if he goes *makes puking noises* hahahahaha!"
Do you see why I turned away when I gagged? She's evil sometimes.
So I'm sharing the love. What "WHAT THE HELL?!" moments have you hd? Please, someone. Anyone. So I don't have to envision mine anymore.